I LOVE acting. It is one of my most favorite things to do. I don’t get the chance to be in shows as much as I’d like, but in my time on the stage (which consisted mostly of high school musicals…. Don’t judge), I learned that there is a widely held superstition that if you have a terrible, horrible, no good dress rehearsal, then the opening night of the show will be amazing! Let’s hope the same holds true for the “dress rehearsal” of our trip….

Over the past two weeks, we’ve had the opportunity to see what things will be like living full time in the RV. The route for the trip was four nights in Springfield, IL, two nights in St Louis, MO, four nights in St James, MO, and two nights in Bloomington, IN. To be clear the time we spent with family and friends and all of our sightseeing was sublime! It was the day in and day out living in the RV that presented…. Challenges. And might I say in the words of Barney Stinton, “Challenge Accepted!”

It started out innocently enough. We got the RV out of storage and brought it into our driveway to load it up. This would be the first time that we would be towing our new CRV. We were excited to have the freedom to venture out of the places we were staying at and explore what these cities had to offer. So, we hooked her up to Buster and headed out on the eight hour trip to Springfield.

It was about halfway through the journey that Zac and I noticed the absence of the dog. He had been enjoying the ride from the comfort of under my stinky feet and he was suddenly not there. I got up to investigate to find him wedged between the bed, the hamster cage, and the door right behind where he had left a fresh deposit of what can only be described as sledge from the bowels of Beelzebub. Yes, the dog had a massive case of diarrhea in the small space between the boys bunks and the half bathroom. And we were no where near a rest stop. Now, suddenly very aware of the stench, I dug deep and did the only thing I could do. Clean it up with what supplies I had: Paper towels and a plastic grocery bag. As I went to fetch said supplies, I prayed that the dog would REMAIN STUCK AND NOT WALK THROUGH THE FECES INTO THE REST OF THE RV. And he did remain stuck. Phew! Keeping in mind that it could have been much, much worse, I scooped up the runny, mucusy, smelly-as-all-get-out excrement. I choked past the gag reflex to wipe up the remainder of the mess that had miraculously stayed on the laminate and not gotten on the very near carpet. Nice aim, Midas! When we were able to stop, we got the dog unstuck and took him outside to cut out any compromised pieces of fur. And with that, we had survived catastrophe number one.

The second catastrophe took on a much smaller, menacing form. It was our second day with friends in Springfield. We had gone to church and were now exploring the sporting goods store, Scheels. I look down at my lovely daughter, Caydence, and what do my eyes see but two tiny little bugs crawling around right at her scalp line on her forehead. Some research and digging through her hair confirmed my fears: LICE. It is important to note here how graciously and calmly our hosts reacted to this. We were so grateful for the way they handled it in stride and didn’t make us feel like lepers who had to sleep on the outskirts of town. We know others who may not have handled it so well (you know who you are!). The guys ran to the local drug store to pick up some Nix while I sat on the couch picking out whatever I could. Our wonderful hostess, Jen, was collecting all of the bedding that Caydence may have come into contact with. I gave Caydence the lice killing treatment and the deed was done…. Or so we thought. Five days later while at the St Louis Zoo, I spotted yet another creepy crawly in Caydence’s ponytail. Further exploration showed that Brody’s head had also been invaded. And all of this right before we were to arrive at Zac’s Aunt and Uncle’s home in St James, MO.   Again, we were fortunate enough to have a very sweet hostess and Aunt Cathie told us we could treat our hair there in her shower and wash all of our bedding in her laundry room, under one condition…. Mum was the word with Uncle Gary who may have been a little uncomfortable with it. Uncle Gary, if you’re reading this, sorry! We love you! Now, another six days later, I haven’t seen any lice, but we will do one more treatment at home just to be sure!

The final blow came in the form of several RV malfunctions. From the simple air conditioner vent popping out of place to the leveling jacks leaking hydraulic fluid and everything in between, these set backs were more than a little frustrating. We had quite a bit of rain on our trip and twice the RV leaked. In two separate places! After a couple of days, our living room slide out began sounding like a banshee every time you moved it in or out.  Example:

That stinking Banshee is freaky.  That was a children’s movie!  For the love.  Anyway, there’s more.  This one isn’t particularly a RV problem, but due to user error, we used our regular phone GPS which took us down side dirt roads of which there was no escape but to unhook the car from the back and slowly and carefully turn around. Doors and drawers would pop open when we hit bumps. More water leaking into underneath storage compartments. INCESENT BEEPING WHILE DRIVING BECAUSE THE HYDRAULIC FLUID WAS LOW…. BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. You get the picture. However, everything that happened trained Zac and I to breathe deeply, remain calm, assess the issue, and move forward with a resolution. Those resolutions mainly being to call the RV dealer and give them yet another thing to add to the list of thing to fix for us.

Now, please do not misconstrue any of the above information as me complaining. Quite the contrary, I assure you! Remember what I said before about how horrific dress rehearsals make for the best opening nights? Well, I believe some of that is due in part to the fact that you are able to see the problems very clearly and iron them all out so that everything runs smoothly when it’s go time. Will things be perfect when we set off this fall for our big journey? No. Will we still run into other problems along the way? Absolutely. But they won’t be the SAME problems. We’ve gotten those out of the way.

We hope.